I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
