I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
