you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
