Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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