dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize