I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize