adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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