i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
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