Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
