i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
