Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
