Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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