Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
