Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize