i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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