I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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