Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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