Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize