I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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