he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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