What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
