You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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