okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We are all done wearing pants today
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