Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
