She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Randomize
