where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
