Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
