God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
