I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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