i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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