is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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