he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
