38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
