But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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