the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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