You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
