I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize