hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
