you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
