this beer tastes like vomit already
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
