so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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