I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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