Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
