And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
