If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
