Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
