Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
