Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Randomize
