can we get nightvision for the apartment?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
