i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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