I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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