Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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