operation harelip BJ is a go
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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