My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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