Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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