I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
