I wanna bring you to show and tell
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
